We Interrupt This Broadcast

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS. I AM KRONK FROM RIGEL VII.

AS AMBASSADOR TO THIS SEGMENT OF THE GALAXY, I AM REQUESTING THE HELP OF ALL INHABITANTS OF "YOUR" PLANET.

TWO OF OUR SCOUTS, CALLED KANG AND KODOS IN YOUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE, ARE MISSING.

THEIR LAST KNOWN LOCATION WAS ATOP A TOWER MART IN THE TOWN YOU CALL LATHROP, CALIFORNIA.






Enhanced image from surveillance camera ==>






IF YOU HAVE INFORMATION REGARDING THEIR WHEREABOUTS , PLEASE CONTACT THE HUMANS KNOWN AS "MULDER AND SCULLY".

THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Thanks for the memories, Bob!

From a letter postmarked July 2, 1971:


Of course the Bob in question is Mr. Wilkins, who passed away last weekend. Faithful readers will recall that our own Willard Biscuit was the name that young yawndave submitted to Creature Features' "Last Man on Earth" contest. Bob was cool enough to enclose 6 free movie passes with this letter.

Somewhere, deeper in the bowels of the archives than The Grasshopper cares to dig , is Bob's congratulatory note for winning the contest. It was almost anti-climatic; a hastily-scribbled "Dave, You Won! Yeah!", written on his very own "From the desk of Bob Wilkins" notepaper. The schwag for winning was anticlimatic as well, only 2 free passes. Ah, but basking in the glory of having my name announced by the Bay Area's Weekend Horror Host on TV? Priceless.

WTF