Biscuit Hired By Shouting Grasshopper
(apologies to Roger Price/Grump Magazine)
We are pleased to announce that Willard R. Biscuit, the last remaining Out Person in the U.S. has been retained by this publication as an Advisor on What's Not Going On. According to all the mass media today--everything seems to be Going On all the time. S'G'H'P'R has long felt that there is something that is Not Going On...
Somewhere.
Willard R. Biscuit lives with his mother, a retired farm laborer, in Parma, Tennessee, widely known as the place where the Action Isn't. To Willard, Camp means sleeping in the woods, Pop is a Nehi soft drink, and the Dodge Rebellion is just an ugly rumor. He spends his days arranging his collection of walnut shells and his evenings listening to an Atwater Kent battery radio which has had no tubes since 1949, altho he claims to receive messages from his deceased Father on Mondays and the Major Bowes Original Amateur Hour on Fridays.
We feel sure that The Shouting Grasshopper's association with this quiet, thoughtful drunk will prove rewarding to our readers.
